April 20, 2026
By Robyn Davis
hey y’all…
A little rain my ass. It has been “rain down—on me” shit. everyday just about. But hey, the flowers will be beautiful, won’t they? I had a similar mindset this past year that somehow everything will be better when that sun starts to shine again, and while there’s some truth to that: nothing changes if nothing changes.
This has to be the most I’ve honestly looked at myself, and I mean with a brain lmao, I am crying at that one. I don’t think I’ve ever took, okay let me just finish the thought. They say at 25 is when your frontal lobe develops, so it’s like. Me reflecting on life or whatever at 19, you guys get it. We change, we get older, our priorities differ; and for me, this is toughhhh.
To be completely frank, I have always been afraid of the future, of getting older. I typically strayed away from thinking in terms of year, solely attempts to focus on the next day. And sure, that is very much a survivalist kind of mindset. It can cripple you or prevent you from planning, from committing. But it is a whole new world when you’re 25.
It’s like, there is nothing else to distract you. A lot of us have already ventured off to college or put all our effort into the next greatest “Tik Tok.” It’s like no matter how much you try to, you’re looking for an answer to one question: “Why do I get up?” and well.
What the hell?
Is this what a quarter life crisis is? I don’t feel like I’m in a crisis, I just feel like damn.
Nothing will change, if nothing changes. I don’t know. I guess I wish I knew what I needed to do, in any sort of way lmao. This is our first time living, so that’s pretty great; there are no wrong answers. But then, what does that mean? Self-sabotage, not realizing your own potential, not taking risks: like that’s what I’m trying NOT to do, so when I do have a clue of what I want to do, I don’t get in my own way: but like what if I’ve been in my own way?
That’s the damn.
nothing will change if nothing changes. The seasons change every year, and yet we’re still amazed by the turn each year, and why?
Because we realize it is..
everchanging.
happy 4/20 if you observe the holiday, and I will catch y’all in the next one.
k bye
Robyn
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