I honestly think one of the worst decisions I made was isolating during depression. And- it deadass took me a good four or so years to really understand why it was such a bad idea lmfao.
That’s the thing about the choices and actions you decide to make today: they do have lasting effect. I love when it’s put as “the energy that you give out.” As with energy, it cannot be created nor destroyed. Therefore, whatever you put out will always come back to you.
When I look at how I cope with things today, I’m always ready to hibernate. And while, sure, isolation is healthy in some capacities; too much of anything can get unhealthy.
I used to walk straight the fuck out, shit.
let that bitch burn if it wanna, i’m out.
And lol, I’m in a predicament where I can’t just watch the shit burn, and it’s really testing my gangsta, I must say.
I was stating in yesterday’s post it’s like trying to integrate the ‘carefree’ and ‘responsible’ sides of my personality. Because whew, 22-year-old me? Nigga bye.
I love how we can literally point at the change, the growth lol. I have proof that there’s past versions of me who would’ve handle things differently, and I like that too. I like the idea that we experience what we’re supposed to, when we’re supposed to. Like there is no what, time stamps lmao to life. I think milestones is the word I’m actually looking for.
I really am trying to be positive, can we get cunt real quick?
fuck it
Fuck this mothafucking job, that apartment, them bills, why the hell did i buy BELL PEPPER FOR $3, I know the world is not fucking dollar tree, but A SINGULAR ITEM, FUCK FUCK FUCK. I’m tired of feeling misunderstood, I’m tired of being unheard.
I am identifying with a new life lmao, and I’m wrong to think that if I just so happened to end up in New York, I’d Carrie that shit? That was a double innuendo I think: guyssss. I can’t lie, I don’t think I got much more ranting in me. It feels like I’m yelling at a brick wall, it’s a fixed point. And why the hell would I keep doing that??? If it is what it is, all i can control is me, real. & i’m like
I’ll do it, shit ;)
k bye
Robyn
p.s. i am not saying to say fuck your whole life, i am also not saying that sometimes it takes getting away from what you’re used to, to truly discover what you’re destined to do. People may say you’ve disappeared or that you’ve changed, but shit at least you made magic.
BYE
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