Bank on Robyn

not my title being a boys 2 men song.

Well, that’s all I’ve been doing. This week, this month, this year. I’ve been witnessing a transition, is it a transformation? Nah. I’m still me, there’s just this immersion into adulthood, like a deep dive lol.

And I think I’ve reached my end.

I AM EXHAUSTED.

Quick.

How many times have I said I’m tired?

Literally. A billion.

JACKPOT ha.

Okay. Let’s get some framework in here.

Life has been no stop, little break, where’s the rest. Push through. Almost there. I’ve mentioned little about what’s actually going. I got a new job, well a second job. And. While this is like my third or fourth time in my professional career; working two jobs; this is the first time I find it: financially necessary. And yes we can divulge how sad it is that a full time job can’t fully provide: rent, yada, yada. Please tell me you’ve seen those videos breaking down minimum wage, or even living off $20/hour. Matter fact, watch any video lol. They’ll tell you, life is bananas.

However, with this “less job postings than applicants applying,” aka recessionnnnnn🙂, I’m trying to be grateful for my not just one, but two places of employment funding my life.

how grand. I’m employed.

No.

Everyday, I’m finding more and more reason to be upset. Dissatisfied. And doesn’t that take away from the many principles of life? Joy, gratitude. Peace.

I’d love for us to take back our rights, take back our freedom, and honestly get serious about our feelings about how shit is going, that’s me being honest. If none of us like it, then why are we all obliging?

Until then, I’m trying to find joy. That looks like:

• Spending with purpose: we are gonna die, okay. Eventually. Having goals are good for the human experience: but read that again? Human experience. We’re meant to experience life. And that has little involvement with your finances: well in this world it does. Forget the world! Remember yourself. 50/30/20, meet 30/30/30/10. If your needs cost more than 30% of your income, then you dabble your ten each month accordingly. That “10” you see, is 10% of you. Spend it wisely.
• Take care of you: simply put. I been going to work lmao. A simple pushback, and my work uniform. I can’t even tell you the last time I followed a routine in the last month. So now. Intentionally setting alarms that I will follow. I had an alarm for 9pm face mask for Thursdays, which makes zero sense in relation to my life. 9pm, I’m winding down. Ready to go to bed. But I know that’s something that makes me feel good: I show priority by recognizing the patterns in myself. It doesn’t have to be a, “wake up at 7am, eat breakfast,” absolutely not. You work with yourself, and the fluctuating levels of energy.
• Remember this is my first time at life: I can be so tough on myself, and then I can be so lackadaisical, it’s really not the best two extremes to balance but hey. I’m only human. We’re literally all doing life, for the first time. Maybe not. But as the people we are, absolutely. I’ve never been Robyn. And wow. What a life it’s been lol. So. Yeah.

September looks to be the perfect time to see such a blossom, or change: occur. Why not, you know? Fall to spring. The countdown to 25, is a fast one. Like. Yeah. The end of the road to consistent exhaustion and a brighter path toward deliberate recovery. I don’t know lol.

I hope all has been good as we head into the final quarter of the year. That, SeptOctNovDec is going to do us one good huh.

I promise if they ruin Christmas, ima lose it even more lol.

k bye

Robyn