The breaking point that didn’t break me
This easily could’ve been one of those weeks where I completely shut down, on all fronts. Where the pressure doesn’t really feel like it’s making a diamond but pushing me back into that place. The place where I carried too much and I quit. I really felt it erupting: the tears, the tight chest, and the doubt: whewwww baby. That doubt is a motha-
But, this time?
What’s changed?
I’ve folded before. So what’s different now?
I’m 24. and let’s be real, a rather troublesome 24 haha. My early 20s taught me a lot, baby, but my specialty was the ability to head on out. The moment things may have gotten too hard, too ugly, too heavy– I was gone. And it may sound like judgment, or even dislike for that version of me. But?
She was surviving. She was trying. She was young.
And I’m still young- best believe I know that.
But this time: I took the punch and then kept moving.
Forward motion, do you hear me?
So, what changed? That motion: it really does take work: and not just the job. The intentional work asks the kind of questions:
Where are you going?
How are you moving-forward- towards this space?
God, grace, and grit. Two have always been with me, and now grit is finally finding its purpose in my world. I’ve got belief in what I’m doing. So, when things go left: as they do, I don’t feel as lost. The flusters come, I’m just human, but I give myself space to feel it; keeping my focus forward.
And allowing myself to move.
What I’m carrying into July
July is execution month.
We’re not here to survive, we show up and we show up with intention. and liveeeee ha.
I’ve discovered that my way of letting things go isn’t to quit or give up anymore. It’s to move. It’s motion. Not to retreat from life. Where I choose “no more giving up”, because I decided that this is the arc that I decide to fully, bank on me ;)
At the end of the day, the vision is what I choose to carry. And the vision is bigger than one bad day or a stubbed toe, ouchh.
If you’ve been at your breaking point, or you’re simply finding your own forward motion, I’d love to hear about how you’re carrying yourself through it. Let me know what you’re walking into this month.
k bye
-Robyn
@bankonrobyn
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